I was browsing and noticed you haven’t posted on your blog in a while. Is everything ok? It’s getting closer to your due date, how are you and Maybug holding up?

Just concerned.

Sincerely,

E.

Just checking in, was wondering how you and Maybug are doing.

Sincerely,

E.

How are you? It’s really a tough decision. If you decide to keep the baby, would your family be able to help you out? You’ll need alot of financial and emotional support, unless you get a job. There are Government programs out there, maybe someone else knows about them (example: WIC).

It’s very considerate of you not to get another family’s hopes up, and then change your mind later on, because that kind of pain is very hard to get over.

I can tell you love Maybug so much. You should do what feels right in your heart. You don’t have to rush into making a decision now, you still have some time, but remember iit’s your decision.

Take Care,

E.

Just wanted to let you know I am still reading and sending you good energy.

I hope the counselor will be a good one and help you look at ALL your choices, you can either keep your baby, it sounds like the father and his family are going to be very supportive and that’s great! Or you can do short term fostering and visit a lot and have a lot of contact, or you can relinquish to adoption.

Adoption sounds great in some ways but the reality of living with it for the rest of you life is something you can’t imagine until it’s too late. This is why it’s vitally important that you are fully informed.

You can google and see what comes up, you will find extremeties on both sides, anti adoption and pro adoption, support for teen mothers, all kinds of things.

I don’t think there were any anti adoption sites when I was pregnant.

I do remember getting a lot of positive attention from older people for wanting to relinquish and a lot of talk about doing the right thing, being unselfish and being “mature”….I really don’t remember ANY of those people being around after my daughter was born and adopted away.

I also was really shocked when I found out that open adoptions are not legally binding. I didn’t realize that I had no legal rights at all once the adoption was finalized. I truly believed that the people who were adopting her were better for her than me.

I’ve learnt to be ok with her being adopted but it’s not something I can take a holiday from. I live with this every day, I really thought I’d just do it and eventually move on, put it all behind me and get on with things.

The thing is that you can still do all the things you wanted to do and raise your child. You might find out too late that parties and so called freedom and sleeping in wasn’t worth the grief of losing your child.

Once they are gone you never get them back. Even when you know them and see them the bond is broken by adoption. You want to be fully informed and I mean FULLY informed before you make a permanent decision for a temporary problem.

You won’t be a teenager for ever, you will grow and mature with time.

Please keep looking into adoption and into finding the best situation for you and the baby’s father but also look just as eagerly into how you could keep your family intact.

Maybug’s dad sounds interesting. He’s probably trying to take responsibility, by being obsessive and clingy. He must care alot about you and Maybug, and probably does truly love you, but he doesn’t realize the full responsibility of raising a child.

Why should you be stuck in his parents basement, with no freedom, you want to strive for something better, get a degree and become something, and you want what’s better for Maybug. You are looking at the broader picture. He’s only looking at here and now.

How does he feel about adoption for Maybug?

You are good person, thinking about what’s best for everyone. It’s normal to be nervous at your first therapy session. Do you feel any more at ease? It still might take some time. It’s nice Mabug’s dad went with you.

I’m sorry people have turned their backs on you, especially your best friend that must really hurt. But you didn’t do anything wrong, and like you wrote as long as you don’t drift away from each, and have family support.

Take care,

E.

Because sadly that is what happens a lot of the time at 16, 25, 35 and beyond ppl make a commitment to marriage or having a child and then abandon it sometime later b/c it isnt all they thought it was. So I am glad you are preparing yourself for that. Just b/c an adoptive family looks a better option now they are still prone to the same stresses as everyone else : adultery, financial trouble, divorce, death.

I just hope you realize that you can be a great mom and everything Maybug needs in life. You can be all that, you might need support but if you have it in your heart and head to do that, you can.

And if you want to allow another family a chance at giving Maybug all the things he/she will need then thats great. But dont do it to make a family that society says is a family. You are a family right now. You can be a wonderful family either with or without your bf.

I am not trying to talk you into any decision just giving you the encouragement that you might need and the words you may not be telling yourself right now.

Sincerely
S

How are you and Maybug doing? I hope you don’t mind me adding a comment to your blog? You are a terrific writer, and you’ve got some really good responses so far. I’m very sorry for what you’ve been through. You were depending on this Adoptive family, and they abandoned you with no warning and no good reason, just because they found someone due sooner. That must really hurt, and it’s not fair to you. Now you have to start over, and figure out what to do next, it must be so confusing. Seeing a counselor is a good idea, he/she will help you sort things out so you’ll have a solution. On the flip side maybe it was destined I came across your blog now, because we are looking to adopt again. So if you’d like to find out more about us, or just need someone to talk to, you can email me anytime.