It’s the second week of February, the deadline I set to decide what to do about Maybug.
I don’t want to live in my boyfriends’ parents’ basement for the rest of my life. I don’t even want to live here for the rest of my life.
But I want the baby.
I haven’t told anyone this yet–not even my boyfriend. I want to give it more time. Not much more time, but more time. Until the end of this week.
If I make this decision now, though, while he or she is still mine, still growing inside of me, while he or she isn’t promised to anyone but myself, it won’t hurt anyone but me. And it won’t even hurt me, maybe. Change things? Of course. Throw my life off balance? Sure. But ruin my life? Probably not.
My mind has been made up all along but I wouldn’t let myself realize it. I understand the commitment, and I understand that maybe we’re not ready yet. But we’ve got time. And if this is what we decide in our hearts is what we really want, then we’ll get through it. Because we have to. Because Maybug deserves it.
Eve103 said,
February 6, 2008 @ 11:06 am
Hi,
How are you? It’s really a tough decision. If you decide to keep the baby, would your family be able to help you out? You’ll need alot of financial and emotional support, unless you get a job. There are Government programs out there, maybe someone else knows about them (example: WIC).
It’s very considerate of you not to get another family’s hopes up, and then change your mind later on, because that kind of pain is very hard to get over.
I can tell you love Maybug so much. You should do what feels right in your heart. You don’t have to rush into making a decision now, you still have some time, but remember iit’s your decision.
Take Care,
E.
Eve103 said,
February 12, 2008 @ 8:09 am
Hi,
Just checking in, was wondering how you and Maybug are doing.
Sincerely,
E.
S said,
February 14, 2008 @ 5:13 pm
You can do it Girl you are a wonderful mommy! It shows in you already wanting to give your baby the very best life you can, and you will!
Eve103 said,
March 12, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
Hi,
I was browsing and noticed you haven’t posted on your blog in a while. Is everything ok? It’s getting closer to your due date, how are you and Maybug holding up?
Just concerned.
Sincerely,
E.
S said,
April 11, 2008 @ 5:43 pm
just wondering if you have had your precious babe yet? Hope you are doing great.