I didn’t write for a few days due to a HUGE spike in traffic. It made me stupidly nervous and afraid to write for awhile.
I don’t really have anything to say but I felt like i was abandoning the blog altogether which isn’t something I want to do. It’s cathartic to write, so write I will.
Maybug and I are good. Thing haven’t really changed on that front since my last post, which is why i didn’t see fit to write yet. It’s still just Bug and I against the world. My dad promised that he’d make me a counseling appointment and I’m still trying to decide what I’m doing with regards to the adoption. I’m giving myself til the second week of February to make that decision. If I do before, then great, but that’s my deadline. Hopefully we’ll have some kind of solution ( a family or something else, although that issue requires a much more coherent version of me) by then.
indie_rock89 said,
January 28, 2008 @ 1:54 am
hey there-
sorry i haven’t stayed in touch as much as i’ve wanted to, things are crazy here, delilah comes tuesday! glad to hear that you and maybug are doing well, i hope that you do get to go to counseling. i think it will help. let me know how everything goes.
Eve103 said,
January 28, 2008 @ 11:25 am
Hi,
How are you and Maybug doing? I hope you don’t mind me adding a comment to your blog? You are a terrific writer, and you’ve got some really good responses so far. I’m very sorry for what you’ve been through. You were depending on this Adoptive family, and they abandoned you with no warning and no good reason, just because they found someone due sooner. That must really hurt, and it’s not fair to you. Now you have to start over, and figure out what to do next, it must be so confusing. Seeing a counselor is a good idea, he/she will help you sort things out so you’ll have a solution. On the flip side maybe it was destined I came across your blog now, because we are looking to adopt again. So if you’d like to find out more about us, or just need someone to talk to, you can email me anytime.
kimkim said,
February 3, 2008 @ 12:04 pm
Hi.
Just wanted to let you know I am still reading and sending you good energy.
I hope the counselor will be a good one and help you look at ALL your choices, you can either keep your baby, it sounds like the father and his family are going to be very supportive and that’s great! Or you can do short term fostering and visit a lot and have a lot of contact, or you can relinquish to adoption.
Adoption sounds great in some ways but the reality of living with it for the rest of you life is something you can’t imagine until it’s too late. This is why it’s vitally important that you are fully informed.
You can google and see what comes up, you will find extremeties on both sides, anti adoption and pro adoption, support for teen mothers, all kinds of things.
I don’t think there were any anti adoption sites when I was pregnant.
I do remember getting a lot of positive attention from older people for wanting to relinquish and a lot of talk about doing the right thing, being unselfish and being “mature”….I really don’t remember ANY of those people being around after my daughter was born and adopted away.
I also was really shocked when I found out that open adoptions are not legally binding. I didn’t realize that I had no legal rights at all once the adoption was finalized. I truly believed that the people who were adopting her were better for her than me.
I’ve learnt to be ok with her being adopted but it’s not something I can take a holiday from. I live with this every day, I really thought I’d just do it and eventually move on, put it all behind me and get on with things.
The thing is that you can still do all the things you wanted to do and raise your child. You might find out too late that parties and so called freedom and sleeping in wasn’t worth the grief of losing your child.
Once they are gone you never get them back. Even when you know them and see them the bond is broken by adoption. You want to be fully informed and I mean FULLY informed before you make a permanent decision for a temporary problem.
You won’t be a teenager for ever, you will grow and mature with time.
Please keep looking into adoption and into finding the best situation for you and the baby’s father but also look just as eagerly into how you could keep your family intact.